Tuesday, October 25, 2005

MTC-HAMMER



You got to pray just to make it today
I say we pray...Praaaaay
Filippino or Malay...Praaay
You got to....Praaaay
Straight or gay..Just Praaay
You've got to Pray....
Day By Day...Praay
Acha hay?

*Mamamunki collaberation

Sunday, October 23, 2005

3ali in da diwanya...

Me iz 3ali Gi
Not Kazakhistani?
nor Britani?
I z Kuaaaighty
The Dishdasha MC
A Pimped out da ddy
lgaymat Junkie
A Giddo baby
Ain't no Geizi!
I drive a Benzi
*Wick It wick it*

Like Beryani
Or Marag shebzi

I chew miswachi
wear flipflops naydi
In dis kakooli
smell like 3oodi
Too damn sexy
For di Tele
Now Dat iz me
Happy to be
KTV FREE


3ali was his name... boyakashKha is his game...

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Conversations with a reincarnation calculator

Your Birthdate -- Its Meaning for Past Life and Present:
This life's birthdate reveals that you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere near the territory of modern Central Africa in approximately 825.Your profession was handicraftsman, mechanic.
Your brief psychological profile from your past life:
Seeker of truth and wisdom. You could have seen your future lives. Others perceived you as an idealist illuminating paths to the future. You knew this was true and awaited this incarnation for fulfillment.
The lesson, that your last past life brings to the present and how you will use it:
You fulfill this life's lesson by helping old folks and children. You came to this life to learn to care about the weak and helpless. Your growth during this lifetime is astounding, as your compassion and generosity flourish, so will you be greatly rewarded.

Use your lessons well ... and you will be greeted with uncommon success in an uncommon hour...

-A mechanic/Handicraftsman..(okaaay!)
-I was male! (no kidding?)
-800s (Why not?)
-Central Africa? (That's HOT)
-Idealist/illuminating paths to the future (I'll tell you 1 thing, these damn niggaz must be hittin dat crack pipe ageian! what about the other guys? what did they perceive?)
-Reincarnated to Fulfill? (The fusla, that's a given)
-Helping kids and Children (I don't see much of those, all I see are my friends and they're neither Innocent or mature and btw, does avoiding them count as helping?)
-Care for week and helpless (I do care though I don't help much, well not anymore..though I do understand the importance of caring in general now does that count?)
-Astounding growth? (Mentally:No growth, financially: not quite, hair: stopped growing all together, its safe to say the only growth is social)
-Compassion and generosity flourish (I am compassionate to everyone that's missing the essence of the FUSLA

-will be greatly rewarded (Don't tell me I have to come back for this one)

Oh and last but not least, the calculator's advice:

Use your lessons well ... and you will be greeted with uncommon success in an uncommon hour...
(Oh shit, that uncommon hour must be the next time round, I iz comin back..& This time I better be reincarnated back into badass me cos I simply rock and your calculator stinks...I'm out! *mumble* Mechanicmya$$..)

Give it a go

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Saddama Drama : The Gay Trials


From BBC:

Saddam appeared, cool calm and collected as usual with an ultra hip kishafabulous look Tsa die fooo! Wearing a dark fall Armani suit, with the shirt neck open giving an airy mass murderer/dictator feeling and swank as he shows off his Cell-f-tan, he tucked his Quran well under his arms like Sarah Jessica Parker holding her designer Alligator clutch!



As the well reputed Baghdad Diva, Saddam could not resist mocking the judge, court and everything they stood for, here is a glimpse of the action:

"Who are you? What does this court want?" he asked, adding: "Have you ever been a judge before?"
What he really meant was…

Great, a Friggin Kurd Judge! What’s more important than my Reiki appointment? Have you ever been to visit the zoo? SING IT EVERYONE….


Have you ever been to visit the zoo?

A happy place for me and you;And what did you see? And what did you do?

Did the lion roar when you went to the zoo?

Have you ever been to visit the zoo?The monkeys will play games with you!

If you make a face, then they'll make one, too,Oh, those silly monkeys down at the zoo

Have you ever been to visit the zoo?A happy place for me and you;And what did you see?

And what did you do?Did you hop, hop, hop, like the big kangaroo?


Then he continues:
"What is based on injustice is unjust ... I do not respond to this so-called court, with all due respect."


What he really said was:
Its unjust that I have to stare at your ugly infidel faces, I do not respond to unfashionably boring shenanigan and where in hell is the champagne n o'dourves.

"I preserve my constitutional rights as the president of Iraq. I do not recognise the body that has authorised you and I don't recognise this aggression.

What he really said was:
I preserve my right to tell you to talk to the hand cos the face ain’t listening biaaaaaaaatch!


“I’ve been brought here since 2:00 am, I've been here since the morning. You know me and you are Iraqi, and you know I don’t get tired”


But what he really said was:
“Like oh ma gad, this suit screams GET ME OFF, like can I get to powder my nose and freshen up before the next shoot?”
“I know you. You know me..what you say you show me how that hot KurdASSoyours…..Baby you know I don’t get tired”

Only the Baghdad Queen can pull it all off, the celebrity status, Sense of humor, Charm & Wit! the chic fashion, Hair, dental hygene & bling...Oh and of course The PLAYA HATER!

..That's HOT

Bottom line

SADDAM IS HOT!!!

& Paris would vouch for that........

But what would Bruno Say?

'VASSAAAAP'

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Stamp-ede?


Bored and going through SNOPES.COM and the urban legends, I came across a new American stamp that commerates Eid Holidays. Check it out yourself (Click Here)
What do you think about THAT?
1. Couldn't give a rat's ass
2. Yeah cool (Next Blog)
3. Finally, some recognition of our religious holidays in the US of A!

I think they could have done a better job on the art work and perhaps used something like the stamp I proposed..


Saturday, October 15, 2005

Mama Xpozed!


TAG or TAGGING, lets look the the definition 1st. So the 100list was up next but I was tagged yet again by the lovely Catch-22 before I got to it, but I have a feeling that by now, you guys heard enough jazz about me..So lets take a break after this one!

Anyways...Lets do this..









Seven things I plan to do:

1-Become a tycoon in my field
2-Summit K2, Mt. Blanc or Everest
3-Seek Higher education & learn New Languages
4-Voulanteer more
5-Write Book or Make movie or Make music Video
6-Take a Culinary course in Europe
7-Go to Burning man and thenThrow a rave in the desert

Seven things I can do:

1-I can build things out of wood (sheds, chairs, tables, boxes)

2-Host great parties

3-Hike 12kms with 20kgs on my back
4-Knit

5-Bullshit my way out of anything

6-Powder Clay Pigeons

7-Give great massages

Seven things I can't do:

1-Speak a 3rd language

2-Remember names

3-Make dessert

4-Arrive early

5-Live without seafood (Specially Sushi)

6-Consistently connect spiritually

7-Lie

Seven things I say most often:

1- Hey Baby wussup?

2- La La La

3- Aham Shay

4- Yabeela

5- WTF

6- Its 4:20

7- Oh and of course ....‘Fusla’

Seven people I want to pass this tag to:
1- Amunki
2- Loulz
3-McArabian

4-Purgatory
5-Tata Botata
6-raf
7- Shewrites

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Tagagagagged!


















Finally, I've been Tagged by the lovely Catch-22, I thought he'd never ask!


1. Last movie you saw?
The Italian Job
2. What book are you reading?
Muhammad: A biography of the Prophet, Karen Armstrong
3. Favorite board game?
Scrabble
4. Favorite magazine?
National Geographic
5. Favorite smell?
Perfumes: Stella McCartney, Aged Dihin 3ood, Henna on Hands, Granma’s chay 7aleeb, Bukhoor
6. Favorite food?
Cuisine: Japanese (Torrrrro) & Of course all other seafood (Lobster Of course) I love Chestnuts, Chocolate Soufflés, Yams, Goose liver pate in Port wine & Fig Chutney, Lulu Icecream (God Bless KDD)
7. Favorite sound?
Ocean, Airplane engines roar, My granny’s voice (RIP)
8. Worst feeling in the world?
Shame, loss
9. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Is it day or night?
10. Favorite fast food place? Mickey Ds
11. Future child's name?
Girl: Jawa, Zain, Fay Boy: Ghazi, Faisal & Fahad
12. Finish this statement. If I had a lot of money:
I would go to the moon, buy an Island and turn it into a conservatory, Build a temple in my granny’s name, Buy a huge yacht and throw amazing parties. Adopt a shit load of Asian babies, Seek higher education. Hire someone to blog for me.
13. Do you drive fast?
Unfortunetly…
14. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Nah, its been a while!
15. Storms, cool or scary?
That's Hot!
16. What was your first car?
LandRover Discovery
17. Favorite drink?
Appletini & Green Tea
18. Finish this statement, "If I had the time I would...":
Rearrange my room & office, scan all my photos and back them up, go to Japan and learn Japanese, go backpacking for 1 year, learn to sail and do it for months, go to Film School, Volunteer more often and spend time getting to know my neighbors.
19. Do you eat the stems on broccoli?
Bring it on, there isn’t much that I don’t eat.
20. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice?
Blonde though I doubt that I could get away with it!
21. Name all the different cities/ towns you have lived in?
Kuwait, London, Bath, Boulder, CT.
22. Half empty or half full?
Some Ice and it will be Purrrfect!
23. Favorite sports to watch?
Winter Olympics, Figure Skating, Synchronized diving
24. One nice thing about the person who tagged you?
Has great taste in modern design and perhaps, other things as well, I’m yet to find out.
25. Morning person, or night owl?
Summer, Morning, Winter Night owl.
26. Over easy, or sunny side-up?
Shitake & Emental ommlette (2yolks3 whites) but if I had to choose, over easy!
27. Favorite place to relax?
Chalet
28. Favorite pie?
Girs E3gaili, Kuwaiti sponge cake (Saffron infused)

I Am now going to tag Amunki, & McArabian (Hope it doesn't hurt)
This wasn't as much fun as I thought, reading ppl's tags is more fun than actually doing them. I've actually compiled a 100 random things about me, If I get more encouragement, I will start it and "Fuslafy" people into writing 100 random & unique things about themselves, there is no format or standards..You make up the questions & answer them..Isn't the whole point is getting to know one another? Spread the Fusla...Hava Nagila Hava..

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Fusla, Fusla-Art or FuslaFart!

Right: Divine Bride Entraptured (A Series of Brides by Kimiko Yoshida/Self-portraits)
Left: Shout (Conceptual Photography By Latvian conceptual photographer Gordin Misha)
*****************************************************
What Do YOU see?
Right:
Left: Abelam

Friday, October 07, 2005

Nobel 6eeze Prize

Watching BBCW, I came across some very interesting news. Mohamed El Baradei, Director of Int. Attomic Energy Agency has won the 2005' Nobel PEACE prize.
To make this hideous matter more hideous..The BBCW reporter that's commenting on the news said something like this, "though his efforts and the agency's were not quite succeful with Iran & China"!
emmm...As oppose to success in Iraq?
This is another case of 'Norwegians gone on Crack', let me not remind you of their 1994 screw up with Fatlips, Yasser Arafat

I wonder who might be next? I wouldn't be surprised if it was Husni Mubarak, Qhadafi, Bashar Al Asad?
If the crazy Norwegians wanna give Arabs Nobel prizes, let it be of any other catagory other than "PEACE" Aiight..

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

RamaDAMN I'm nostalgic!

A fellow bloggoid called Bo JAIJ has posted a question "What will you miss most in Ramadan?"
So ppl r like Cigs, Coffee, Food, Blah blah blah..
I answered quite differently cos
A. I like to be different
B. In this case I did feel different than the rest..
C. I have a fever which has altered my perception slightly..


Nuffsaid..
Here is my posted comment..I figured if I am going to write lengthy comments in other ppl's blogs then why not write in my own!, specially if Its personal and lengthy..

What I miss the most this Ramadan is the good old fashioned Ramadan. Where we played in the 7oosh of granma's house as she prepared her heavenly Ramadan recipes for the house and neighbours. The smell of cooking in the house mixed with bukhoor, When the neighbours brought the food themselves and not with the driver in a Benz! I miss the harrisa when it came old metal pot with a lid & plenty of Cinnamon/sugar topping. I miss grandpa's stories about sea adventures to india, pearl diving and him complaining about Granma as we watch him Dunk his Tictak salty biscuits in his lipton tea istikana! I miss '7assooon il mal3oon' & '3algam'
I miss old Kuwait when we saw our cousins everyday, played without nannies running after us and wipping our noses, I miss gergai3an without nannies when Kids knew the simple lines of 'wees wees, kil baytkom ja3amees'. I miss the ritual of buying Eid clothes that include brand new white Socks!
I miss Eid when none of the family travelled, we got lots of cash and went to Toys r us and il 7adeeqa il sha3bya, where we ate fresh grilled Chabda (Liver)and played Gilayliba.

I don't know about you but I miss a lot this Ramadan.


****************************************************
So here is some more fever blabber, complaints and some hefty dose of Nostalgia..

Amunki and me were watching Conan O'Brien and we were food fetishing over traditional snacking etc. Then I thought "Yabeela Khobiz Irani (Khameer) with Jibin Glass" and she goes "YEEEEEEEZZzzz"
Of course, I suggested we had some Iranian Bread with Processed Cheese!
I called the houseboy and it turns out to be that he baked fresh Iranian bread at 3PM. Yey I thought, Amani Perking with as much excite as me. "Don't 4get the Tea and the Cheese please" I told him..

"Fantastic" we thought as we waited for the midnight snacks to arrive ie. si7oor!
The house boy walks into my room with a tray that has Glass Cheese, Honey, a padded Iranian Bread bag that traps the heat (Modern mans best invention since Sliced Toast, though I still miss the Bread in Newspapers cos you can eat your bread and read the news at the same time)
Anyways..Amunki and I begin to lather our bread with the cheese, fill up our Tea Istikana's (Tiny glasses for Tea) and we begin dipping the rolled cheesy Iranian bread into the tea..Dunk and Munch, Dunk and Munch..laugh at Conan, laugh at ourselves as if we were too old ladies stranded in a Tent somewhere during a cold stormy winter night in the desert, warming up by a fire, wearing our Bedouin coats "Farwa" (Coats made of Sheepwool)!


Our ancestors enjoyed the simple indulgance Amani and I are enjoying, They didn't have Starbucks and Chocolate bar to satisfy their cravings, nor did they have the luxury of Bread Talk that made mini "Gers E3gaili" which is conveniently individually wrapped!! (Saffaron infused Traditional Kuwaiti Cupcakes)
My Late greatgrandmother (Obviously late, it would be weird if she was still alive) anyways, my greatgranma made amazing "Girs E3gaili" and she was as blind as a BAT!


These were the days...and those were the women!

A tribute to all great things our beloved Kuwait has lost..

A tribute too all great Ramadans of the past..

Kil 3am wintaw ib khair...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

My Top 10 list of Motion Picure Soundtracks


1. Animatrix
2. Leon: The professional
3. The Aviator
4. Requim of a Dream
5. Dead Presidents
6. Grease
7. Philadelphia
8. Lord of the rings
9. Baraka
10.Dancer in the Dark

Confessions & Anti-inspiring fever blabber...


RamaDAMN I have a cold, my 1st day ain’t goin too well. A high fever, too much Samboosa and Bad T.V. This lethal combination of unfortunate events is making me sick to my stomach. Plus, I’ve been feeling guilty about something (Don’t go too far, I’m just really angry at a relative of mine that it scares me, I don’t normally get this angry at any1) What bothers me most is that it’s the 1st day of Ramadan, the least day I should feel angry about anyone or anything..


So, inspired by a book Amunki has leant me called ‘Stoned, Naked, and Looking in My Neighbor's Window : The Best Confessions from GroupHug.us’ I tried to log onto grouphug.us in order to confess only to find that it was blocked by ISP (Hmm I wonder why!) fortunately to my burdened-by-a-confession self, the ISP didn’t catch up on notproud.com which works just as good while breaking down the categories such as:

1.Pride 2.Envy
3.Sloth
4.Gluttony
5.Greed
6.Lust
7.Anger
8.Misc.

Of course I choose #7 and confessed my anger.
Mine was simple, boring and straight to the point unlike many juicy and weird confessions you find online.
I surely felt lighter after this quick confession.

Wooops, sneeze #40 in less than an hr. I’ve managed to perfect the Quadro-Sneeze, Making each sneeze identical to the other with the equal interval and of course at the same pitch. That takes skill.

Things you don’t wanna hear when you’re under the weather..
1. You sound Terrible!!!! (Laa Wallah? and I just thought of joining the Notre Damn Choir)
2. How does the food taste? (How would I know, all my buds are off, I can’t smell therefore I can’t tastes!)
3. Wanna go sheesha smoking? (why not skip through that and fix myself a voice box since I’m most probably gonna need it!)
4. Lets go clubbing
(Unless its Vamps and Goblins Ball, I can’t go anywhere with this swollen face and puffy red eyes)
Is it normal for eyebrows to hurt? And your skull to make weird sounds when you press it. How about feeling cold, then hot, then cold again, then hot, hotter, colder and now hot again in less than 1min?

Wow, I’ve coughed so much that I’m beginning to see Stars when I cough hard!
Oxygen deprivation baby…
What are the chances of syncranizing my coughs with my sneezes to perhaps produce a musical master piece such as STOMP? Who would watch me do it live? And How much would they pay for it, can I quit my job and do this fulltime? Which freak show would hire me?
Does that mean I will have to be sick the whole time?

Hmm..I'm starting to feel Amunki is right! Maybe someone is spraying something in the air!


Confessions of a Fever Blabber