Borat's weekend in Kuwait

My good ol mate Borat paid me a surprise visit this weekend. Here is a glimps of the action:

Wednesday 8pm phone rings:

Borat: Jagshemash, is this di mama, Its Borat, I make it di surprise visit.
Mama Fusla: wussup home boy, wuchu doin in Kuwait?
Borat: I come to buy camel for camel business
Mama Fusla:...
Borat: No only joking, I come to do story about Kazakhistani workers in Iraq. You like Iraqi man? I have friend "Abbas" maybe he like to do you.
Mama Fusla: Do me a favor, shut up and come over. we're all hanging out at chalet.
Borat: I come with my friends, Good bye.
Mama Fusla: Ciao.
---End call---

2 hrs later Borat walks in wearing blue/grey suit, grey shirt and
grey tie.
Mama Fusla: I see you made it, plz make yourselves comfortable.
Borat gives me (high 5)
Borat: Jagshemash, How are you Mama? I want to make sheet, where is toilet?
Mama Fusla: Its inside

20 mins later, a very relieved Borat walks back in wearing green colored swimming briefs.

Borat: I take good sheet.
Mama Fusla: That's great news. Nice briefs.
Borat: Thank you, I am ready to swim. Wut do you call it? shal?
Mama Fusla: Chalet.
Borat: I buy gift for your chalet.
I look into the gift bag
Mama Fusla: Nice Carpet.
Borat: yes, Its from my mother, she make it.
Mama Fusla: Please thank her for this wondeful gift.
Borat: can not, she is dead.
Mama Fusla: I'm really sorry.
Borat: No its ok, my wife is dead also.
Mama Fusla: oh my.
Borat: Don't worry, I get another wife.

Attempting to change the subject I persume:
Mama Fusla: Do you plan to do anything in Kuwait? Sight Seeing maybe?

Borat: Yes I want, How if I want to make it the sex with Arab lady, beautiful lady with maybe big what you say? tits? How can I do that?
Mama Fusla: I'm sure you do, but 1st you have to be a gentleman.
Borat: Yes, maybe your Kuwaiti friend teach me.

So I make the mistake of introducing Borat to a few friends:

Borat: Jagshemash, I have it the blue ball, I must make it the sex with Arab Woman, how I must be like Gentleman? Plz show me.
Kuwaiti: You have to 1st become "Shay Shay" so the girls would like you.
Borat: Wut is that thing? it will hurt?

Kuwaiti Guy briefs Borat on how to become from El Shay Shay. an hr Later, Borat comes out with a big smile on his face.

Mama Fusla: Haa Borat, wut did you learn?
Borat: Excuse me lady, but you look familiar, St. Tropez? Summer 2002?
Mama Fusla: hahaha, no Courchevel 2003.


Borat: I will be back, 1st I must move my Harley.
Kuwaiti: you can park it behind my Jaguar *wink wink*

Borat now goes into the pool, eyes one of my female friends with premediated mischef on his face and moves in like an Aligator.

Borat: Hey lady, I look for Arab Wife, will you marry me?
Kuwaitia: aha.
Borat: you no like it? maybe you are lesbian.
Kuwaitia: aha.
Borat: Same like Khazakhistani lady.

Borat jumps out of pool and approaches me, annoyed and disappointed he exclaimed.
Borat: I try to be Shay Shay but Kuwaiti lady is Lesbian, what I can do?
Mama Fusla: Perhaps I introduced you to the wrong people, you do not need to learn how to be a Kuwaiti Shay Shay, you needed to learn how to be a Kuwaiti Lesbian.

A few hrs later, a very drunken Borat climbs into a "wanait" and heads back to the City and the next day to Iraq.

-------------------------------------THE END-------------------------------------